Here we go again.



Surprise and counter action

My dad is almost like all dad in the world who put others need before him. Like he didn’t really care to shop even though his stuff are all ancient. As long as it is still functional, no need to buy a new one. Sort of his motto.

So last Tuesday, my sister and I had a surprise gift for him. We bought an SE Iphone and put it into a Secret Recipe box. We went home with all joys. The trick was done and he was overjoyed that he almost hugged me. We were all share the same feelings except for mom. Initially we thought mom just jealous.

But I sensed something was wrong, when she didn’t wanna join us for family outing that Sunday. Something wasn’t not right.

Few hours ago, my dad were asking me if I stick with the plan – to use his ancient Iphone 4.

” Perhaps, or I’m might be buy Huawei. The products line has amazing battery capacity. Iphone 4 has oudated IOS, I can’t even download waze.”, I said.

He just nodded. Mom overheard our conversation, and she was furious.

She thought I was just spending money recklessly. She knew the fact that I don’t even have stable income yet bought the phone using my savings. ( my sister owed me half of the money).

She’s been pressuring my sister to remove her sim card from her Iphone 5 and insert it into my dad’s Iphone 4. In a simple way, she’s gonna use my dad’s phone and handed me her phone. Not to forget, she warned me not to waste any money on phone anymore.


Well, practically speaking, what my mom did is genius. When it comes to financial, she is the guru. She knows how to run our family business, a wise risk taker and she just– i don’t know what the term to called someone who can salvage most dirt and put it to work.

Yes. We didn’t know the whole thing could hurt her.I mean, my sister and I, we just wanna  interject fun in our daily lives. We wanted to thank our dad for his hardwork. We didn’t think– this could just be turn into some kind of misery.

The ending? What kind of daughter I would be if I agreed to my mother? I would absolutely not gonna use her Iphone. So, I settle for a basic phone– my dad’s Iphone 4. Probably not gonna buy new one  anytime soon.

To some extend I do agree, even if you have notes, “money cannot buy happiness“. Well, not for everyone.



I am almost 26 and still confused with my life. I am not really sure what I want. I wake up and put on different facade everyday. I could not possibly decide, which one is closest to my true colour.

I believe most people know my story. I am waiting for my so-called dream job. I got the title but not the job, yet. I  can be so miserable at times.

Ironically, even If I get that job, I am pretty sure I’ll be having same feeling- if not worst. MISERABLE. 

There are so many things in my mind right now.  Some people are lucky if they can share shits with their family, because I can’t. I tried. I just can’t bring myself to say it.


But I cannot bear it anymore and that’s the serve the sole purpose of this WordPress- heart pour.

I think I have mild-to-moderate OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Like I could not bear seeing a glass at the edge of the table. I would move it to center. Or I would totally forgotten if I already locked my car then I ran back to car park – for reassurance. Or if these traits are not counted as OCD, well maybe this is just HABIT.

I don’t know if you call this HABIT or GIFT or anything that fit the title that- I AM OBSERVANT. I noticed little things. Like tinge of blue lips of a  5 year old girl – she is having Heart Disease, I am guessing Tetralogy of Fallot. Or 18 year old teen male, post operative came for dressing his wound. He told me the reason for his operation due to ” extra bone growing on his thigh”- I said he was having OSTEOSARCOMA- the benign bone tumor. He showed the discharged note- I am right. Left FEMUR OSTEOSARCOMA.

How did I know?

It is not hard. Observe + Knowledge + Probability = Answer.

Probability (?) yes. Medical school shaped my mind into that perspective.

But noticing little things and little changes are not all good per se. I had to bear the consequences. At times, I had to pretend I didn’t notice. or I just didn’t care. or I didn’t give a damn.

But I do.

I had the capability to shut down my emotions. But if I get there, my old self is a history.

And I don’t know if I would ever come back here again. Writing, I mean. Is this place really private?