“..You can get addicted to certain kind of sadness (Goyte)”
Yes. I was down with mild fever, cough and runny nose these few days.
After I gave a lot of thought ( and nagging from that kid) , I did consume cough syrup few times a day. And drank lots of plain water.
I convinced myself I will get better in time, I didn’t.
I am a doctor myself, and I well aware pathophysiology of the diseases and mechanism of action of drugs, but I do know medicine is just a tool, a means used by God.
I firmly believe, everything is working with God’s permission. Kun fa ya kun.
Here I am, quit devastated knowing how far astray I am from HIM. I miss to sujood in my prayer, crying for bad deeds I’d done. I miss to outstretch my palm begging for HIS forgiveness. I miss saying the beloved names in my prayer. I miss seeking for calmness when I noticed enormous void in my heart. I miss moments when sadness bring me back to HIM. I miss dzikir.
Ya Tuhan, tunjukkanlah jalan.