Down

“..You can get addicted to certain kind of sadness (Goyte)”

Yes. I was down with mild fever, cough and runny nose these few days.

After I gave a lot of thought ( and nagging from that kid) , I did consume cough syrup few times a day. And drank lots of plain water.

I convinced myself I will get better in time, I didn’t.

I am a doctor myself, and I well aware  pathophysiology of the diseases and mechanism of action of drugs, but I do know medicine is just a tool, a means used by God.

I firmly believe, everything is  working with God’s permission. Kun fa ya kun.

Here I am, quit devastated knowing how far astray I am from HIM. I miss to sujood in my prayer, crying for bad deeds I’d done. I miss to outstretch my palm begging for HIS forgiveness. I miss saying the beloved names in my prayer. I miss seeking for calmness when I noticed enormous void in my heart. I miss moments when sadness bring me back to HIM. I miss dzikir.

Ya Tuhan, tunjukkanlah jalan.

 

 

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This entry was posted in Life.

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