Too many things to be handled.
& that’s when my brain loves to wander at the wrong direction, which brought me back to the moment 4 months ago.
You made the choice. But in fact, I selfishly trapped you.
Give you permission, to “permanently disconnected” everything that we had, is rather cruel.
To leave you behind, at the lowest point; while you’d stayed with me during my time; is heartless.
“I gave up my feeling”
That’s some bullshit that I uttered. Lie that I couldn’t digest. Not until now.
I’m confused. Do I like you, or do I like the idea of being liked?
4 months ago— is a matter between my feeling and myself.
And I chose the later.
I chose to frame our happiness; and let the auspicious moment frozen as it was.
Yet 2 am in the morning, I asked myself, why “yadek novu?”