Ramadhan has ended. It means 2 things. A victory to musleems all over the world and freedom tickets for demons, to be unchained from the unbreakable chains.
Honestly, I felt devastated the whole Ramadhan. Most of the days were occupied with the preparation for examination and my inner battle. I only had the opportunity to fast for few days because I’m on antibiotic treatment. I was in a great confusion whether to fast or not to fast. To continue the regime or not. Ramadhan is one month training in all aspects so we become a better fighter in dunyaa, secure a safety place in the day after, level up the imaan and taqwa. For training purposes, the monsters, the evils , the beasts were kept in a jail, to ease up our mission. So we could purify our heart by all means.
Moreover, Ramadhan is a special month, it doesn’t come and go as you like it to be.It is no guarantee you gonna meet another Ramadhan next year. So, it took a great emotion to weigh what’s the best at that moments. At times, I felt so damaged because I was not fully utilized the holly month. I bowed to the Creator yet my heart was somewhere else. I didn’t manage to keep my eyes’ gaze in control. There is a lot more, but I don’t think I shall make any further confession here. This sacred conversation is between me and Allah.
As I mentioned earlier, the demons are out of the jail. I can feel one is coming back for me. One that made me ate up all my emotion and to be immersed in the dark ocean. This demon made me think, forgiveness is never meant for me, so I shouldn’t repent at anytime.
Funny that you can read your demon better than yourself