Additional Papers

1.43 am

I’m not sleeping yet. I seemed to break my vow- to get on bed before 12 am. Failed!

So, tomorrow I have an exam called ethnic relation… Er can’t remember the exact name. The exam has nothing to do with medicine, or drugs or pathology but more to politics and society of our country- Malaysia.
My university is an offshore campus, so the main campus has 99.9999% control over everything. We are compulsory to take certain classes and sit for examinations in order to graduate.
This includes some extra co-curriculum activities like music, drama club and etc. All of them will be recorded in our data base and evaluated as merit. I do remember in Year 1, I had an awful months, since we had no free day/ break at all. All the free periods or weekends were fully occupied with Malay Language class. Yap, learning your mother tongue in a foreign country. Contradicting.

That’s not a full stop. Tho’ we have packed scheduled from 8am to 5pm, they added another class at 5-6pm to accomadate English Class. Suffocated. Ya, that’s my Year 1 story.
But, I like it. More like, I love it. This hectic period, thought me to push my borderline. To go easy with myself and improve my self management.

My grade were improving, from C- (1st assesment) to B- and A-. And I pass my Pro Exam. That’s the sweet of it. Like a seed, my stem grew upwards but as an obstacle placed on my way, I swayed aside and created a new way to penetrate the soil and reached for the sunlight. If my journey was easy, I won’t grow up stronger. As the wind can pull me through, the extreme rays can turn me off, the water can sink me down. The real challenges had just begun. Remember.

Now, Year 2, even to pass a test is an extremely hard job. I failed my end block assesment most of times. I only passed it, once. And a big exam is just a month away. I had green eyes over people who passed the tests. They were not many, but most of them are of the similar faces, over again and again. Then I re-evaluated myself, what went wrong? I root for 50% to pass,so badly.

Over time, my questions had been answered.

1. My motive is to pass. Only pass. I had lack of motivation, and even diverted nawaitu(s) a.k.a intuition. I should channel my nawaitu to study for Allah. To seek for his guidance. He is the Guard of All Knowledge, then why I forgot to ask him?

2. I rarely read books. Major mistake. The lecture slides maybe superficialy enough to cover the syllabus. But, the real world is another different story. Nowadays advanced diseases come with non- classical features, if I don’t read textbooks I may miss out some links. Plus, the twisted questions required applied concept. Without thorough understanding and merely only memorizing everything, it is not fit for the exam. The papers are designed to test our knowledge and not memory capability, alone.

3. Technique of reading. Vital soft skill. English is not my first language. Honestly some texts in the books are long and vague. I can’t really point out, what’s it’s all about? And most of the time, I tend to misunderstood certain words, or worst just omitted certain lines that I didn’t familiar with. That is disaster.

4. Lack of focus when I’m studying alone. Due to no.3. Dropped my jaw, I just set the book down, should I continue reading?

5. Lack of clinical site practise.

So, the first step were done. Now, I did find ways to solve the problems.

1. Repeated rehearse my nawaitu.

2. I started to dissected my books acording to systems. Oh,I asked M to do it, she is a handy girl! It is carriable so I can read them during my short ample time.

3. Study group. Trio of us will wake up early morning to have a study session. One will become an active reader and the other two will become the listeners?Not bad, we interacted along the way and, cleared out our doubt and enhanced our understanding.

4. See no 3

5. No solution yet.

But above all, I keep myself motivated. It got to the point where it was all so implausible like an extremely bad days, but I still brace myself. It will be just like ordinary days while good times stay longer.
It works.

At least for me.

So, silent readers,what do you think? I never asked anything before. But I would be excited, if you guys speak up your mind. Drop some comment. You can stay anonymous if you want to, it’s your thought that I valued. Thank you.

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