I am no angel.

It is a different Sunday. I woke up on my own, because my roomie had her slept over in her friend’s house. I don’t really enjoy being alone in a big room especially at night. I do afraid of darkness, and the evil in it. But as time goes by, I begin to rise above my fear.

The past keep haunting me. It isn’t easy to escape but I don’t really wanna hurt both- my mind and my heart and start over with a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve done enough.

So,I started my day with a positive mind. Music class has been breathtaking to me. Last night, I focused all my concentration on the notes and strings. It is a form of meditation in attempt to clear up my mind and enjoyed every rhythm of it. As a beginner, I always misplaced my fingers on the wrong string or stroke the bow hardly till it was out of tune. Haha I even laugh how bad it sounded to my ears

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Tonight, we were expected to play the above sheet. I have confident with myself but I didn’t set the bar high. More often we were disappointed with our own action because things might get out of hands. Sometimes it felt so unbearable but I’m just gonna do my best and accept the hurdle process of learning.

Yesterday I told myself to find something new. Something that I love to do and devoted my time on it. It is not reading books or playing new sport or photography but this time, I realized, I really fell for music. Most importantly, I had reconstructed my nawaitu. I’m searching for happiness in the name of Almighty and violin is a tool to achieve it. I abide that sorrow and joy are ingredients that make me a better person. Because if everything is smooth and fine, what’s the whole point of a life? I shall be born as a angel that way. Hahaha 😁

So, I will keep calm and work hard, for Violin, for my future career and for my HEART. Relapse is almost unavoidable but each times I go down, I will resurface even stronger. So this ocean won’t able to break me apart.

People are all different. It is not a necessary a bad thing. We learn the characters and reputation as well.
Being positive in merely everything and accept the fact that pain is needed to grow, to be a fruitful person to the world! That’s my aim!

Positive is contagious, so I wish all of you have a great day ahead!

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