Untangled my problems.

At times, we always have our private conversation with ourselves. The topics cover almost everything from food, financial, girls, boys, fashion, family, exams, anxiety, happiness, sorrow to personal feeling that we are unable to express. Or we just don’t know how to put them in words.

So do I. When curiosity get the best of me, this questions popped up like ‘ What I should do to make this world a better place?’ or ‘ What should I wear to One Borneo tomorrow?’ or ‘ Why I can’t remember names?’ or ‘ How much money left in my account?’ or ‘ Why I am so temperamental today, maybe I will have  my menstrual tomorrow ? or ‘ How many days before the next exam comes? , or ‘ Did my shawl stay in place’ or ‘ Ouch, this food are hard , I can’t eat it with my braces on!’ and the list goes on and on.

When I can’t bear with too many questions, I’ll surf internet in order to fulfill my curiosity. To my disappointment, I would get trapped with bulk of websites offered by Mr. Google, and what more devastated than opening the unnecessary/unneeded articles?

Not until I discovered this awesome book!

Many thanks to John Gray, he writes so smoothly, in the simplest way ( without the heavy-psychology- terms), and makes me understand things easily.

Oh, credit to my lovely friend, Fatin Amalia for lending me this book.

Don’t be fooled by the title. ‘ Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. Well, of course it is suggesting columns related to relationship/spouse/love/communication skills. And yes, it is all about.

But I was so surprised when I actually re-discovered myself through this book, and most crucially, I find ways to improve my friendship. Is it helpful?

To make this simple, I’ll write it in Questions and Answers section.


Question : Why do my roommate resent me  when I skipped my English Class? Why she always offering way and telling me what to do?

Answer : I can relate this situation when problem arose between the husband who had paid undivided attention to the television and ignored his wife. When the wife realized she didn’t get his attention, she became so upset and threw tantrum at him.

She scolded him for spending too much time on television, and gave a long lecture for that. The husband would react in a defensive way and would AGAIN repeat his habit. He would never think of changing anything.


Maybe because he has his own ego. The wife’s voice suggesting that the husband is powerless and helpless. The husband hates the fact that his wife treat him as a child by telling him what to do. The husband feels like the wife lose her respect to him as the leader in the family. But if the wife do it in a subtle way, the husband is more willingly to listen.


Question : Why do sometimes, I feel stuck in the middle of a crowd and start to distance myself from my friends?

Answer : This what amazed me the most. I just know that men’s attitude  just like a rubber band.

When he falls in love with the lucky woman, he shows his deepest care, passionate, attention and make she feels like a princess. But it doesn’t stay the same for a longer time. Like expecting the weather wouldn’t change, it is impossible right?

Same goes here. Man needs time alone, he needs ‘me’ time without thinking about others but himself. He just needs to go back to his cocoon, and distance himself from anyone. It is just a natural process. Like I said, imagine the rubber band. You have to pull it back as hard as you could, then only the rubber can recoil with the stronger force. The man would be back again, more loving than before if only his natural cycle didn’t being disturbed. But woman might mistakenly it for a problem. Woman becomes confuse with the changes and start to question his love. Well, the rest you can tell what would happen. She continues to demand, he continues to run.


Question : Why did I care less about my hand phone? Sometimes I’m so ignorant, I didn’t reply texts or calls. Or worst, it took me at least 2 days, then only I will charge my phone. 

Answer : It is close related to the past. Nightmare haunted me. I admitted, last time I always waiting a person to call me or at least give me a text. My heart would beat so fast if I can sense the vibration from my phone. But it wasn’t from that person. I even stayed awake at late night, so I can manage to have a meaningful conversation with him. Most of the time, it was only occurs in my dream. He was not there. He is never there. This is the reason why I loathed ‘attachment’.

So, by ignoring my phone. I  feel like I gain the control over myself.

In a nutshell

If I observe more keenly, I think all the problems that surfaced, are  related to the husband side. XX gene, while yeah but I’m a girl. I don’t know whether this is just a pure coincidence, or my mind just operate like the guys did. And if it is true, I wonder how my future husband’s mind would be? hahaha 🙂

Lastly, I just unbuckled the chains of self-problems I have, and I’m so happy. It is true tho’ little things did make a great impact on me.

Last but not least, I would like to apologize if this post may offend anyone who reads.

Till then!

p/s  The writing is based on John Gray’s finding, I have no intention to re-produce or plagiarize it in any form.


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